I made it my mission to gather all the information I could about this disease and talk to anyone who knew anything about it. I knew that there was no cure, so I was in for a life sentence. Books became my most important ally at first, then I moved on to the internet. I read anything that mentioned fibromyalgia.
I admit that after that period of time, about two years, I fell into a deep depression. I cursed God and didn't understand why this was happening to me. It took me a long time to come to an understanding with myself. I could either let fibromyalgia get the best of me and end up in a wheelchair, or I could fight with everything I had to stay mobile and take back control of my life.
My first order of business was to get my body moving every single day, whether I felt like it or not. It is hard, most days very hard. But, I still do it. My new motto is, "No Pain, No Gain". I refuse to give in to this. I will not go down fighting.
I think that the most difficult thing for me everyday is the "Fibro Fog" or brain fog. It is frustrating and sometimes embarassing when I can't find a word and voice it. People look at you like you have gone insane. Some days, that is exactly what it feels like.
My combat for the fog is to keep my brain as active as my body. This too is difficult. Probably more difficult than forcing a body in pain to move is forcing a brain to function. I read a lot, play memory games on the computer, anything that makes me think through every process.
I hope to continue putting my story out there in future posts. I know that in my research, reading someone else's story made me understand better that I am not the only one on earth going through this. It also made me realize that I am not as bad off as some who are fighting fibromyalgia.
You are welcome to leave your comments and stories. I will read every one. Support and awareness are the best defense.
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